Catch Up

2-2-08

Happy Ground Hog Day! It is still dark so we will have to wait to find out our fate with respect to the arrival of spring this year. My entries are few and gapped this past week. I briefly considered removing the blog, but decided that I don't have to "appear" perfect here any more than I am. wouldn't that be crazy making?


Last night I went to see No Country for Old Men. I am going to have to read the book now since the movie left me with a lot of questions. Choices and consequences.


Reflecting back over January, I have to say I was very busy, but kept "being awake" a central and conscious force in my life as intended. I consistently did the things that are important to me. No, I was not perfect, but I wasn't on auto pilot for 31 days straight either. Just for Today I will do every task in an unhurried manner and give myself more than enough time to complete each task.




1-30-08

Last night I chose not to set my alarm clock. This morning I chose not to get up until 4:30am, the second time I woke up. I am also choosing not to go to the gym before work. I will do Walk Away the Pounds 2 mile walk and some yoga at home.


Just for Today I will get back in bed with my coffee and read until 5:30am and go into work an hour later. My life - my choice.


1-29-08

It has been a week since I returned from vacation and made my last entry. The week has flown right by and I feel right back into my rushed - go go mode of living. See how easy that was? Just for Today I am going to stop between chores (no multitasking) and decide what is best to do next. Oh, by the way, I am planning on retiring from the VA two years from today.

V A C A T I O N

1-22-08
I took a week off from work that translated into 11 days. During my vacation I visited family, read, went to the Country Music Hall of Fame in Nashville, TN and drove to New Found Gap in the Smoky Mountains National Park. I played games with games with family and friends, ate drank and was merry.

I did not write in my journal, sit meditation, go to the gym, nor do any thing Just for Today. I was on vacation. I slept in every day and didn’t worry or think about accomplishing anything. For me, that is why vacations are limited to one week. I can only live so long without direction.

One of the first articles when I got home was how to live without New Years Resolutions. Honestly it sounded unrealistic; and it is for goal oriented individuals such as myself. Unless of course you are in recovery from living life to the extreme with to do lists and feeling worthless if nothing is accomplished and checked off your to do list.

Just for Today I will go to the gym and enjoy a healthy diet. I am half way through the book The Spectrum by Dr. Dean Ornish and it makes total sense – the choice is always mine.

Let the Music Play

1-11-08
Last night I had my first piano lesson after a 3 year hiatus. I played four pieces I had been practicing for the past four months to let my new piano teacher know my current abilities. The keys on her baby grand felt and sounded different than my Baldwin upright. I was nervous and only a bit self conscious, but so glad I was there. Her patient teaching style was encouraging. When I left her home at the end of my lesson I knew I had made the right decision to return to my lessons.

Just for Today my practice period will be longer than usual and without critical judgment.

My Health - My Choice

1-10-08
I started reading Dean Ornish‘s new book, The Spectrum. It is a scientifically proven program to help us feel better, live longer, lose weight, and gain health; it is based on his 30 plus years of research. The basis premise is we all have a spectrum of lifestyle choices we can make, i.e. what we eat, how much we exercise, stress reduction, that will affect our health.

Realizing our options and possible positive outcomes can give us the information we need to make intelligent decisions about our lifestyle choices. Basically the further along you are in a disease process, the more comprehensive changes are needed for reversal. The less room there is for unhealthy choices and the bottom line – it is our individual choice.

I will not live my life in fear, but rather in joy. I have the genes for living a long life; I want them to be healthy and happy years. Just for Today I will weigh each lifestyle choice I make keeping in mind my need to lose a bit of weight. Although I don’t have any existing health concerns or other risk factors (I quit smoking in 1984), I know that excess weight can be a contributing cause of cancer, heart disease, and diabetes – just to name a few.

Alive

Last Saturday I thought my iPod died, but last night when I turned on my computer to check my e-mail it came back on and was downloading all the newest pod casts that I enjoy listening to. I really panicked on Saturday trying to remember if I had bought electronic gadget insurance. Things in my office are not necessarily perfectly organized.

Just for Today I am going to perform fifteen (15) minutes of organizing in my office before I go to work (yes – exactly, it will happen between meditation and piano practice). Yup, I will have to get out of bed 15 minutes earlier this morning.

Another Day

1-8-08
Last night I didn’t set my alarm (my body said it was really tired and needed a good sleep). I didn’t wake up this morning until 5:10 am and I felt sluggish. I got back in bed with my cup of coffee and started reading a new magazine. I didn’t get out of bed until late and had to make a dash to get to work (I did not write this morning). Hitting the ground working I kept going until after the board meeting; I left work at 7:00pm.

Just for Today I lived in a state of constant flow. The coffee pot and the alarm clock are both set and tomorrow is another day.

Listen

1-7-08
By 1:00pm yesterday I had the house as clean as it was going to get and Mike had vacuumed. The last load of laundry was in the washer. My blog was in and Zazen at home was done. I was pooped and did the only thing that made any sense – I took a shower and slipped between clean sheets, and took a short nap. Gone were the thoughts of the gym or a movie. Gone was the need to be more productive.

After an hour lie down I made lunch and practiced my piano. Then I got back in bed, caught up on e-mail, listened to the Cast-On pod cast; and checked out their website, and knitted.

Mike and I sat down at 5:00pm with a bowl of popcorn and watched a movie. I am grateful for my good sense and experience that told me it is best that I listen to my body and act accordingly. Just for Today I am going to listen to my body and respond appropriately for each situation.

Time

I have just 15 minutes before I need to leave the house for the Zen Center of Denver. I spent this morning in bed reading the January 14 issue of Time magazine. It was sent to me, free of charge, from a grateful credit card company. I spent close to 2 hours reading it cover to cover, only skipping a bit if the redundant or uninteresting articles. The entire time I was reading I was wondering on the accuracy of the information and how they got each article condensed to just one page of pint. (how much of each article did they omit for the perfect fit?)

All of that aside, I realize there are many areas of our American culture I ignore or miss altogether. And then, I give two hours of my life reading Time’s canned version of all that is important or was for the past two weeks.

Just for Today, I will look at how I allocate my time. How much of it do I spend on the mundane, the unimportant, escapist pursuits and how much is spent doing worthwhile activities. Let’s see: meditation and Teisho (Zen talk), clean house, do laundry, add blog, work out at gym, practice piano, movie with hubby, make dinner, prepare for work week, (oh, where will I find the time?)

p.s. After jumping out of bed I discovered that the Zen Center is closed today. I’ll scratch that from my list and put another load of laundry in the washer. Have a good one!

Eat Pray Love

I finished listening to Eat Pray Love on CD yesterday and could hardly wait to call my sister to tell that I was done and she would really love it when she heard it. She is waiting to get the download from her library, which shouldn’t be too long. However, she was about number 107 on the library’s waitlist for the book and 200-something for the CDs. It’s one woman’s story of her path to peace with herself – I very good read.

I had a good workout at the fitness center yesterday. I added intervals of running to my treadmill walking routine and added lunges to my short weight training session. What I failed to do was enough post workout stretching. I remembered this fact last night when my massage therapist started working on my calves. I was reminded again this morning as I walked up and down the stairs. Just for Today I am going to add 15 minutes of stretching after my interval workout.

Knitting Community

Last night I was incredibly surprised when I went to the knitting group. I was expecting to meet an assembly of women my own age (50ish), but was welcomed by a group of 30 somethings. There may have been a smattering of women in there 40s as well as one or two in their 20s.

After the owner, Sylvia, showed me how to get started with knot and pearl, I worked on a swatch for 20 minutes of so before ripping it out and starting over. I received queries as to what I would make. Was I going to make a scarf? No, I have received 4 beautiful scarves over the past 3 years that I enjoy wearing during Denver’s long cold winters. I am looking forward to making my husband a sweater because I know he will wear it forever. His mother made him a beautiful cable knit sweater 40 years ago that he still wears to this day.

Just for Today, I won’t hold preconceived notions on how “things’ are supposed to be and just welcome what is. Thank you ladies for your very warm welcome; I look forward to seeing you all again next week.

Wake Up! Wake Up!

Yesterday I was reminded just how difficult it is to stay totally focused on the present moment. Early on in my Zen training I did a mindfulness practice. This practice consisted of being aware every time a certain act was done, i.e. walking up stairs, inserting a key in a lock. I progressed to being aware of thinking certain kinds of thoughts, i.e. having judgmental thoughts.

My intention to breathe and say a few words of gratitude went undone more often than not. All of a sudden I would realize I had done many different tasks on auto pilot. Before leaving work yesterday I organized a pile of a dozen different tasks to be completed. When I get to work today I will stick the entire stack in a folder and put it on my desk. Every time I turn from my computer to open the folder to get a new project I will stop, breathe and say “wake up wake up”.

This morning I synchronized my work calendar (massage practice) with my time off with my husband calendar. I did it the old fashioned way – with a pencil. There is something about doing tasks with your hands. I think it has to do with the feeling of being connected to something else. Just for Today I will be mindful of all the tasks I do with my hands and tonight I plan on visiting a knitting group at Posh, A Yarn Boutique that meets regularly in the neighborhood. I haven’t knitted since I was a child and feel this would be a pleasant pastime I will enjoy. One that is relaxing, yet keeps me engaged.

Back to Work

How funny – I stepped on the scale this morning after avoiding it altogether yesterday. And yes, exactly 25 pounds over my healthy goal weight. It’s amazing though how this fact does not throw me for an emotional loop and that's good since it doesn’t help the matter anyway.

Changing to healthier behaviors is something I have control over and I continue to develop them for myself. Last night I got my gym bag ready and put it by the front door. While getting my husband’s food ready for the rest of the week this morning (he works out of town), I also put my lunch together: frozen homemade soup, an apple, banana and a grapefruit. It’s ready to go, but next week I will do this on Sunday evening and get back 30 minutes of my morning.

I drank my protein drink while reading my early morning motivation (oops, I forgot the monounsaturated flaxseed oil in my shake so I will need to take it when I go downstairs). This morning the article I read was about starting each day with a 3 step plan for a healthy day. Here it is in a nutshell: 1.) Sleep in a cool room (60 – 70 degrees); get out of bed without hitting the snooze button; use a suitable strategy for raising your mood, i.e. bright colors in your bedroom, flowers by the bed, post it note of something you are looking forward to. It seems that our hormones drop during sleep and these strategies may help to raise your mood before the hormones naturally start to rise. 2.) Exercise (add one and a half minute intervals of high intensity every 3 minutes or so to increase your fitness level) and stretch after your exercise session. 3.) Boost fat burn by eating breakfast (remember to add monounsaturated fats to each meal as well to increase weight loss and decrease belly fat). All good ideas I must say.

My morning schedule is always a bit hectic when I get my hubby off to work so I have less time for myself before I go to work. So, Just for Today, I will decrease my morning Zazen practice (Zen meditation); enjoy a shorter piano practice; and decrease my morning exercise session. I will however breathe between each activity and say a few words of gratitude. I will maintain this practice all day as I go back to work at the Fisher House and organize my office for a brand new year of service to our veterans and their families. Have a good one!

Happy New Year

I stayed up until 1am this morning bringing in the new year with my dear husband and a friend. After the ball in time square had fallen we talked about the upcoming year and I shared my plan to live Just for Today with my friend. After some discussion, she said I would still be working for perfection in my life (I think that is what she said). Actually, what I really want is to be alive and know that I am not just going through the motions. I don't want to live my life on auto pilot.

It is my habit to getting up early in the morning, usually at about 3 am MT and starting my day with coffee and some reading. I find that reading and writing first thing in the morning gets me started off right. Plus I know that in the evening when I get home from a long day at work I am not usually able to process what I read.

Looking back on this morning ritual I now realize that regardless of the length of my session, when it is over I jump out of bed and promptly forget what I just read and whatever thoughts I had on the subject. In essence, I just wasted time reading whatever it was. Unless of course I am actually sticking the info away and just not aware of it - maybe some anyway.

This morning we slept in until after 7:30 am. I felt like I had slept through the best 4 hours of my day. I started my morning reading with the new February Prevention magazine. This magazine pedges to provide information that was checked for accuracy and supported by the opinions of leading experts and up-to-date research. It is a great resource for "smart ways to live well'. Today I learned how eating monounsaturated fats would help me lose more weight and especially the belly fat that is so dangerous to women. I went downstairs with that information in hand and added about a tablespoon of flax seed oil to my oatmeal. I also added some flaxseed oil to the leftover oatmeal with some other ingredients and made some oatmeal griddle cakes that I will toast and enjoy this week before I go to work.

So, Just for Today, I am going to review what I read before I go on to practice the piano. I will make a written note of what was beneficial and how I plan to use the information for living a happier and healthier life today. But first I am going to take a little nap, bringing in the new year is tiring work. Have a good one!