Just For Today: Listen

December 31, 2007 - Year Ending

Ah – the last day of the year. Endings and beginnings are always opportunities to assess and reassess one’s life. It can be done in days, weeks, months or years. It can even be done hourly, but who has the time? Perhaps if one is always living in the present moment, it can be done without effort or judgmental assessment – just awareness.

For me, it seems I end the year with assessment and regret. I start the New Year with hopes, dreams and desires (goals – resolutions) and very soon afterwards I fall into the pattern of life and think only of my January first plans with discouragement and regret that I have not followed through as hoped.

A few months ago I heard someone or read somewhere that in lieu of New Year’s resolutions, this individual gave themselves gifts, i.e. the gift of healthy living (eating and exercising) or the gift of time (living a more balanced life). It occurred to me that with the coming New Year I would do that as well. As I thought on the matter I realized that a resolution by any other name is still a resolution. A resolution to be pronounced on the first day of the year and forgotten whenever; with only pangs of momentary regret to remind me that I had once again not met my goals This is also known as failure.

With fifty plus years of living experience, I know that I too am a creature of habit and I still believe in the power of new beginnings. As an “army brat” (one who is the child of an army professional, who moves every two or three years) I was able to or al least attempt to reinvent myself every time we moved. As the cliché goes, a leopard can’t change her spots. Sure, I made some changes, but how easy or even possible is it to change ones self nature.

So here I am, on the day before the New Year is about to begin. Like Janus, I can look back on 2007 and see what I did and assess what I achieved. Unfortunately it is much easier for me to see what I didn’t achieve and forget the acts of daily living that enriched my life and made it worth living (I can be judgmental that way). And like Janus, I can look forward to 2008. As a creature of habit, I could make my list of resolutions – why not – I still have that 25 unwanted pounds hanging around from 2006 that I didn’t lose in 2007.

I could, but I won’t. I won’t make one resolution (though honestly I would like to lose the weight). I will only give myself gifts. More importantly, I will give them to myself daily. In 2008, I will give myself the gift of the present moment everyday.

Perhaps if I can live Just for Today, I can learn to actually live in the present moment. Now, wouldn’t that be a true gift – to be present in one’s own life.

Happy New Year!

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Listen

1-7-08
By 1:00pm yesterday I had the house as clean as it was going to get and Mike had vacuumed. The last load of laundry was in the washer. My blog was in and Zazen at home was done. I was pooped and did the only thing that made any sense – I took a shower and slipped between clean sheets, and took a short nap. Gone were the thoughts of the gym or a movie. Gone was the need to be more productive.

After an hour lie down I made lunch and practiced my piano. Then I got back in bed, caught up on e-mail, listened to the Cast-On pod cast; and checked out their website, and knitted.

Mike and I sat down at 5:00pm with a bowl of popcorn and watched a movie. I am grateful for my good sense and experience that told me it is best that I listen to my body and act accordingly. Just for Today I am going to listen to my body and respond appropriately for each situation.

Just For Today

December 31, 2007 - Year Ending

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Wednesday, January 9, 2008

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