Just For Today: February 2008

December 31, 2007 - Year Ending

Ah – the last day of the year. Endings and beginnings are always opportunities to assess and reassess one’s life. It can be done in days, weeks, months or years. It can even be done hourly, but who has the time? Perhaps if one is always living in the present moment, it can be done without effort or judgmental assessment – just awareness.

For me, it seems I end the year with assessment and regret. I start the New Year with hopes, dreams and desires (goals – resolutions) and very soon afterwards I fall into the pattern of life and think only of my January first plans with discouragement and regret that I have not followed through as hoped.

A few months ago I heard someone or read somewhere that in lieu of New Year’s resolutions, this individual gave themselves gifts, i.e. the gift of healthy living (eating and exercising) or the gift of time (living a more balanced life). It occurred to me that with the coming New Year I would do that as well. As I thought on the matter I realized that a resolution by any other name is still a resolution. A resolution to be pronounced on the first day of the year and forgotten whenever; with only pangs of momentary regret to remind me that I had once again not met my goals This is also known as failure.

With fifty plus years of living experience, I know that I too am a creature of habit and I still believe in the power of new beginnings. As an “army brat” (one who is the child of an army professional, who moves every two or three years) I was able to or al least attempt to reinvent myself every time we moved. As the cliché goes, a leopard can’t change her spots. Sure, I made some changes, but how easy or even possible is it to change ones self nature.

So here I am, on the day before the New Year is about to begin. Like Janus, I can look back on 2007 and see what I did and assess what I achieved. Unfortunately it is much easier for me to see what I didn’t achieve and forget the acts of daily living that enriched my life and made it worth living (I can be judgmental that way). And like Janus, I can look forward to 2008. As a creature of habit, I could make my list of resolutions – why not – I still have that 25 unwanted pounds hanging around from 2006 that I didn’t lose in 2007.

I could, but I won’t. I won’t make one resolution (though honestly I would like to lose the weight). I will only give myself gifts. More importantly, I will give them to myself daily. In 2008, I will give myself the gift of the present moment everyday.

Perhaps if I can live Just for Today, I can learn to actually live in the present moment. Now, wouldn’t that be a true gift – to be present in one’s own life.

Happy New Year!

Saturday, February 2, 2008

Catch Up

2-2-08

Happy Ground Hog Day! It is still dark so we will have to wait to find out our fate with respect to the arrival of spring this year. My entries are few and gapped this past week. I briefly considered removing the blog, but decided that I don't have to "appear" perfect here any more than I am. wouldn't that be crazy making?

Last night I went to see No Country for Old Men. I am going to have to read the book now since the movie left me with a lot of questions. Choices and consequences.

Reflecting back over January, I have to say I was very busy, but kept "being awake" a central and conscious force in my life as intended. I consistently did the things that are important to me. No, I was not perfect, but I wasn't on auto pilot for 31 days straight either. Just for Today I will do every task in an unhurried manner and give myself more than enough time to complete each task.

1-30-08

Last night I chose not to set my alarm clock. This morning I chose not to get up until 4:30am, the second time I woke up. I am also choosing not to go to the gym before work. I will do Walk Away the Pounds 2 mile walk and some yoga at home.

Just for Today I will get back in bed with my coffee and read until 5:30am and go into work an hour later. My life - my choice.

1-29-08

It has been a week since I returned from vacation and made my last entry. The week has flown right by and I feel right back into my rushed - go go mode of living. See how easy that was? Just for Today I am going to stop between chores (no multitasking) and decide what is best to do next. Oh, by the way, I am planning on retiring from the VA two years from today.

Just For Today

December 31, 2007 - Year Ending

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Saturday, February 2, 2008

Catch Up